How To Come Out

If you’ve been wondering how to come out, then you’re in the right place! Coming out is a unique experience for each individual and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

Gay Pride

How to come out

Coming out is often one of the scariest things a person has to face. “What will people think?”, or “What will they say?” are often common questions people ask themselves. While being scared may hold you back, being true to yourself is the most rewarding feeling imaginable.

As there is no right or wrong way to come out to your family and friends, this article will focus on tips to make things easier and more comfortable for you.

1. Have a safe space

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or the LGBTQ+ community. However, some people still have difficulty embracing the fact that our community has always been here. Even if you believe that your parents will have absolutely no issue whatsoever with you coming out, it is always a good idea to have somewhere safe to go just in case. A safe space is somewhere that you can go to in the event that things don’t go as planned. For example, if your parents do not approve and ask you to leave. A safe space can be a family member who will let you stay with them, a friend that you have already come out to, or even a local shelter.

Lesbians holding hands

2. Come out when you are ready

There is no age or time limit on coming out. Some people will go their entire lives without knowing how to come out. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the easier this step in your life will be. Do not feel as though you are required to meet a deadline; some people come out in their teens while some may come out in their forties. Being true to yourself is all that matters.

3. Practice by yourself

This may sound silly, but hearing yourself say the words out loud may help you build confidence. Try practicing in front of a mirror if you need a little morale boost, or even anonymously online. It’s normal to feel a bit nervous at first! Before you start, ensure that you are alone (or are sure that you won’t be heard). If someone overhears you practicing, you may be forced to come out before you are ready.

4. Try to pick a quiet time – or don’t!

While you should come out when you feel the most comfortable, it is a good idea to try and pick a time that is right for you and your family if possible. A quiet setting will allow you and your family to talk in an environment free of external factors resulting in a more focused conversation. However, coming out in a busier environment gives the listener time to process, and gives you time to prepare for questions. We do not recommend coming out in a car. It can be dangerous!

Men holding hands

5. Tell the truth

The actual conversation will be different for everyone. Be true to yourself and tell the truth about yourself. It’s ok if you get scared and back out; you can always try again. It is important that when the time is right, you are open and honest about yourself.

6. There is nothing wrong with you

No matter what happens, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful person with an amazing life ahead of you. Be proud of who you are each and every day. Coming out is a major milestone in your life and is reachable as soon as you are ready. If you’re looking for support or have questions on how to come out, feel free to join our support group.


Do you have any tips for people looking to come out? Share them in the comments section below, or tweet us @YourQueerStory!

Blog post by Paul Hobbs

After coming out, why not check out this incredible card game?

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