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I Miss My Mom

I recently got my dream job. I’m officially an LGBTQ advocate for survivors of domestic and sexual violence. When I describe the job to friends literally every single one says, “Wow, that job is perfect for you”.  And they’re right, it is exactly the career I’ve wanted. And yet, there’s a piece of me that is sad because I miss my mom.

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The First Holiday Out

As we enter the biggest holiday week of the year many people will face their first holiday out. The next few days are sure to be filled with parties and get togethers of all kinds. From family get togethers to church settings, the end of the year is packed full of fun and sometimes awkward gatherings.

And what can make this time period even more chaotic and anxiety inducing is one’s orientation or identity being the year’s topic of conversation. Which often feels like the case the first holiday season after a person comes out. Or the first holiday one brings a new partner home or begins to show their true gender expression. As always we are here to help. 

Two of the biggest hurdles of this time are religion and family. So here are some practical tips on navigating these spaces.

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Realities and Lies Around Transgender Issues

The past 20 years we have seen a large surge in scientific research and understanding around sex and gender. This has been prompted no doubt by the voluntary outing of more and more trans and gender non-conforming folk. And as has been the case every time a minority group finds their voice, bigots and commentators on the “other side” find reason to increase their attacks. The realities and lies around transgender issues grows with time. Because of this, there is quite a lot of conflicting and confusing information out there about what it means to be transgender and what transitioning entails.

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Keep The Pride Going – A List of Queer Related Books, Movies and More

Alright ya bunch of queers. We’re reaching the end of pride month. And if you’re like me, you’re hitting those post pride blues. So how can we keep the pride going? Well here’s the most buzzfeed-esque article I’ll ever write. Below are some of the songs, shows and books I recommend to keep the pride going all year. Or at least for a little longer.

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A Sobering Pride

My first Pride celebration sober I went in with far too much confidence, and quickly lost it. I was just shy of 7 months clean when I took on one of the biggest alcohol events of the year.

Pride weeks are known for their heavy sale of liquor. Especially events such as the Providence Night Time Parade. Which is held in the evening, on a street lined with bars, and quickly followed by massive block parties. And don’t get me wrong, its fun – it’s REALLY fun. But alcohol and other party substances are EVERYWHERE.

And while most cities have purposefully made their parades early to avoid the heavy drinking, its still a problem no matter where one goes. I grew up outside of Chicago which is (in my opinion) the best parade in the country. But every year people were getting so trashed the city organizers kept moving the time of the parade earlier and earlier. It didn’t matter. Whether drunk at 2 in the afternoon or 10 in the morning, people love to get wasted on Pride day.

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So You’re Being Discriminated Against At Work

I’ve been in retail for almost 10 years now and spent the majority of my time in management. I’ve worked in several different companies in at least 3 different states. And I say all that to say that I’ve had quite a bit of training in Human Resources and workplace discrimination policies. I guess I’ve always take my experience for granted and assumed that others would be as knowledgeable of their resources as I am. However, I often find that is not the case. So here’s a few basic tips on what to do if you think you’re being discriminated against in the workplace.

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Homo So Alono

No I’m not going to apologize for that title. I know Paul will message me and tell me that Homo So Alono isn’t going to show up well in our SEO scores. But I don’t care. I am creative goddamn it!! But what the hell does it mean? I started to title this post “So You’re Alone for the Holigays”. But then the other title just came to me. And if someone doesn’t turn that title into a song then I don’t know what I’ll do. Perhaps I’ll be forced to take matters into my own hands and create one myself. Stay tuned for more news on that.

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Setting Boundaries With Un-Supportive Family

When I set a boundary now, I wait until I am in a healthy space.

So I want to start off first by saying that I’m not a therapist. I’m not licensed as a counselor and I’ve never practiced in a professional setting. What I have to pass on comes from either my own experience, advice that I’ve passed on to others, or advice that’s been passed on to me. That being said, let’s talk about coming out to a hesitant or un-supportive family. This is a topic I’ve had plenty of personal experience with as I’ve had the opportunity to come out twice in my life. Much to my parent’s chagrin!

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What Sobriety Has Taught Me About Transition

989 days, 32.48 months, 2.7 years ago, I woke up and for the thousandth time promised myself I wouldn’t get drunk today. There was nothing special about this particular day. I had no pressing reason to get sober. I didn’t fear losing anything because I had already lost it all. I was crashing on a dirty red sofa in my best friends, boyfriends sunroom. I had about $30 to my name, a car which thankfully ran, and a rolling cleaners rack to hold my clothes, and I didn’t even have enough clothes to fill the “closet”. My relationship had ended, my job was close to ending as well and my friendships were quickly evaporating. Yet honestly none of this motivated me to quit drinking. I wanted to quit because I was certain that I was just a few days or hours from drinking a poison I’d researched and ending my life. And I was sure that if I kept drinking I would have the courage to follow through with my plans. I had not yet begun my transition.

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How To Come Out

If you’ve been wondering how to come out, then you’re in the right place! Coming out is a unique experience for each individual and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

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